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Sudden Weaning
On July 26th this year, the day my little girl Jessica turned 11 months, she awoke with a bad cold. She refused her morning breastfeed and later in the morning after one small nursing began refusing every time I offered her the breast. I was surprised, as up until that day, she had breastfed happily several times a day and often once or twice during the night as well. By that night I knew something was wrong as she was unhappy and crying a lot and I suspected an ear infection. I was expressing milk and offered her that in a cup. She was otherwise drinking water happily from her cup and still eating. The next morning I took her to our doctor who confirmed an ear infection and like me was confident that she’d start breastfeeding again once her ear healed up and she wasn’t in pain. He also felt that a blocked nose wouldn’t be helping although she’d had colds before that had hadn’t affected her feeding. A month later, in August, Jessica celebrated her first birthday and, no, she hadn’t returned to breastfeeding. What started as a nursing strike turned out to be a sudden weaning. For the first week I expressed milk regularly and fed her that in a cup as well as offering her the breast. Every time she would pull away and cry. After a while she would just look at it, then look at me as if to say, “What exactly are you trying to do here Mum?” I was in contact with my La Leche League Leader right through this time and also spoke to a lactation consultant. Both suggested that I calmly offer the breast to Jessica, perhaps while she was drowsy, or in the bath, but never to force it on her. I tried everything but my very independent little girl was not to be fooled. |
My feeling is that the pain of feeding with an ear infection was the first step for her to wean and that she just decided within herself that she no longer wanted to breastfeed. I breastfed her older brother until he was ready to wean (three and a half years) and intended doing the same for Jessica so this sudden change of plans, initiated totally by her, came as a big surprise. As the weeks have gone by I have recovered from my initial disappointment and shock at her weaning. There have been a lot of changes for us both. My milk supply took two to three weeks to reduce to a level whereby I didn’t have to express at all. Jessica stopped waking in the night from the day she stopped feeding (a bonus for us all). She is not particularly keen on drinking any milk but will drink a little bit of goats’ milk formula in a cup with breakfast and before bed (she’s had reflux and doesn’t tolerate dairy very well). She eats well and drinks lots of water during the day. We have had to find other ways to be close too, including more cuddling, carrying (I have a backpack that gets a good workout every day), playing and reading together. It was quite stressful when Jessica weaned so suddenly and there have been lots of adjustments for us both. There are many people who think I'm lucky as I didn't have to wean her but I'm always quick to say that I had no intention of weaning her, not in the commonly-accepted way anyway. I'm learning very quickly that no two babies/children are alike. Already mothering my two children as been very different for each and I expect I have so much more to learn. |