| Your baby doesn't act the way the
books told you to expect! Who's right? The baby or the books?
Babies are adaptable.
You may be able to "bend" your baby's behavior to fit your favorite
book. But your baby is the way she is because that's the
way babies have always been. Here's what seems to have been "normal" for
human mammals for thousands and thousands of years:
Normal pregnancy did
not involve large amounts of many of today's allergic foods. If
your baby's family has strong allergic tendencies, you may do well
to avoid dairy products, eggs, and perhaps peanuts, at least during
the third trimester. There is evidence that avoiding them then
and during early breastfeeding can help your child avoid a sensitivity
to them.
Normal birth took place
in a quiet, secluded place where the mother felt at ease. It did
not involve labor drugs, which interfere with a baby's ability
to nurse and interact normally. It probably included an experienced
woman, or "doula", who "mothered the mother" during the labor. Research
indicates that hospital birth is no safer than midwife-attended
home birth for the average woman, and that an epidural is no more
effective than a doula in keeping her comfortable.
Normal postpartum connections occurred
without the baby being taken from the mother at all. Within
the first hour - but probably not immediately - the baby began
to seek the breast. After nursing for perhaps an hour or
more, baby and mother rested together for a number of hours. Then
the baby began nursing again, probably spending most of his time
at breast for the first few days. Because the mother knew
from long observation how to hold a baby for nursing, she was unlikely
to feel pain. Pain is a signal that something needs fixing.
| Normal mothering involved
carrying the baby during the day and sleeping with the baby at
night. No wheels, no cribs, no separate room, just the warmth
of her body and the presence of her milk. Mothers continued
their work with frequent quick nursings - probably several an hour,
lasting a few minutes each, usually using only one breast each
time. Babies were not expected to last 2 and 3 and 4 hours,
and were usually neither starved nor stuffed but in some happy
place in between. Indeed, the notion that 2 hours is an average
time between nursings is based in wishful thinking, not human biology. Some
babies can wait that long, some will gain poorly and wean early
if feedings are 2 hours or more apart. (Nursing more often
is usually both more fun and easier for mom, just as taking occasional
short breaks at work is less disruptive and more restful than having
only one long break in the middle of a long workday.) All
of a baby's sucking provided calories - no stalling the baby with
a pacifier that fails to offer food - and newborns spent a lot
of time nursing. On the other hand, a baby who wants to suck
all the time and never leaves the breast seeming satisfied may
not be getting milk effectively; someone knowledgeable about breastfeeding
needs to take a look.
Normal weaning probably
occurred somewhere between 2 1/2 and 7 years of age. That
means that a one-year-old's body, bones, and personality are geared
for a diet of mostly breastmilk, not mostly solids. Nursings
tapered off so gradually that often neither mother nor child knew
exactly when the final nursing happened.
Normal nursing was pleasant - for both mother and baby. Otherwise,
why would she have bothered? If it isn't fun, check with
a breastfeeding specialist. You both deserve to enjoy it!
©2001 Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC
136 Ellis
Hollow Creek Road Ithaca, NY 14850
Used with permission
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